The Purpose that Chooses You
Purpose Through Pain
Have you ever had a Purpose choose you?
When purpose chooses you, it burns white hot. It’s consuming and inescapable.
An example of this is a friend of mine who was obsessed with climbing the corporate ladder. I always thought of him as the most ambitious person around. But, after climbing that ladder and achieving some incredible success, his flame for business went out. This shocked me!
But, when I thought about it, I realized that he was a child of immigrants and didn’t like how his parents were treated. So, he set out on a path to be part of the elite. He had something to prove; a pain to overcome.
His purpose came from pain and chose him. Now that he’s achieved all his goals and has a pretty big nest egg, he’s proven what he wanted to prove, and he’s free to choose a different path that fulfills him.
When Purpose Through Pain chooses you.
Purpose through pain can be incredibly fulfilling. You have a clear goal which helps you rally support from those around you. You are in the trenches, being of service and because you intimately know your area of expertise, you become a force of nature.
The issue with it is that: 1) It is a constant reminder of that painful part of your life, and 2) once you’re out of the hot fire of pain, it may not be quite as compelling as it once was. It’s very nature can be temporary.
Other examples of this are Moms who help other overwhelmed Moms (then their kids grow up), or the women who had breast cancer and champion the cause (then they recover and don’t always want to immerse themselves in that world anymore).
It's a fire that burns white hot, then dissipates.
Purpose Through Pain can be like a hot bon-fire that burns and burns. It’s all-consuming and shapes your world. However, like all fires, it eventually burns itself out.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s not your passion or your purpose. Many people find their lifelong path through a particular pain in their life.
But, if you’re someone who is feeling burned out from this type of purpose or is feeling only a tiny flicker of the former flame, don’t despair. You don’t have to stick it out. In fact, you may have found something along the way that completely fascinates you, and from the embers of your fire, your new purpose emerges.
When the flames die down ... give yourself permission to get curious.
When the flames don’t burn so bright anymore, it’s the perfect time to explore other opportunities. You went through a fire and have been changed by it. You aren’t the same person who started that journey, and you may now be free to choose something that you’ve always wanted to do.
You’ve met new people, learned new things, discovered a different part of yourself, which can all lead to the beginnings of your next path. In fact, it often gives way to the Path of Fascination.
As things slow down, you may find another facet of the same topic. Or, you may want to move into something completely different. Or, maybe you’ve met the people you want to work with. You’ve evolved.
Nothing has gone wrong.
The first thing to note is that nothing has gone wrong. You didn’t choose wrong. You didn’t waste time. You have way more information than you had previously. Plus, you’ve changed. You’ve become ready for what’s next.
You're right where you're meant to be.
My friend is picking up some threads that he’d dropped when he was a young man. He’s exploring things at a different pace. He’s still a force of nature, but he’s a more laid-back force of nature who is coming into his true self.
At first, it completely surprised me. Through the lens of the Path of Pain, it makes complete sense.
