Turn Your Dreams Into Goals
(Part 3)
Feeling Stuck?
Are you noticing that you’re not feeling good about this dreaming process? Do you get excited and then suddenly feel the like giving up? When you see other people living their fabulous lives, do you get depressed or annoyed? Are you feeling a familiar stuck feeling?
This is actually good news because you now know your next step — take a look at your thoughts and beliefs.
Who is running the show?
If you feel this whole “living your best life” thing is frustrating, it’s because there truly is something getting in the way.
The truth is that as a kid, you absorbed all sorts of information and experiences about the world and how it works. Your brain was still forming so it didn’t filter and sort. It took everything at face value from everything around you. It’s all still in there, unbeknownst to you, sneakily keeping you safe, and keeping you from your dreams.
You have unhelpful beliefs and thoughts that put the brakes on your dreaming self. We all do.
Your thoughts are powerful.
Try this:
Think these thoughts: “I’m never going to find what I’m meant to do.” “I’m not lucky like others.” “I don’t have what it takes.””I don’t know how.” “I don’t know what I want.” How do you feel?
Think this these thoughts instead: “Clues are all around me.” “The more fun I have, the more money I make.” “There is a way.” “Others have figured it out … I can too.” How do you feel when you think these thoughts?
For me, I feel closed down, stressed and restricted when I think the first set of thoughts. With the second set of thoughts, I feel curious, open, relaxed. Why is this important? Because thoughts and beliefs are running the show.
The Coaching Framework
Circumstances: These are facts that you and others agree on.
Thoughts: Your thoughts are your interface with the world. In every situation, you’re having thoughts about it. That’s why you can be in the same situation as someone else and have a completely different experience. Thoughts are also how you plug in to universal intelligence.
Beliefs: These are thoughts you’ve inherited from others (your parents, teachers, the culture) in another time and place. They are thoughts you’ve thought so many times that they are now a part of who you are. They are the motherboard. They’re navigating your life behind the scenes for you.
Feelings: Thoughts generate feelings. If you’re feeling anxious, worried, angry, you may think that the situation you’re in is causing the feeling, but that’s not true. It’s your thoughts about that situation that generate the feelings. Feelings are the most important thing because they dictate your actions.
Actions: What you do in the world. All the tiny steps you take every single day create your world, your life. You can take actions that lead to your dream life, or not.
Results: Right now, you are creating a result. The question is, is it the result you want? If not, the place to start is by examining your thoughts and beliefs. Slowing down to see what’s really going on in your head can be surprising and enlightening. And changing those thoughts can feel like freedom.
The cost of being on auto-pilot.
If you don’t examine your thoughts and beliefs, you’ll get stuck in the same old places, and get the same result over and over, no matter how hard you try.
But life, nature, you … everything is moving forward at all times. Look at what happens when you neglect your garden, don’t mow the lawn, don’t pull out the weeds. Things are always growing, moving forward. So are you. That’s why it feels so icky when you’re stuck. You’re supposed to be growing, evolving, changing. When you’re not, it can be painful.
It's not a linear process.
Figuring out what you want and need isn’t a linear process. So, don’t feel like you’re doing it wrong. We move forward and then hit a block, which is typically a thought or belief. We unravel that belief and then get back on track.
A simple way to unknot a thought is to think it’s opposite. This is where coaching can come in handy – actually finding those thoughts that are hidden in your subconscious, plus tools to un-ravel those unhelpful thoughts and find new ones.
Nothing is wasted. Thought work can free you up to dream even bigger dreams.
