Turn Your Dreams Into Goals
(Part 2)
How's the dreaming going?
Last week, in Part 1 of this series, you went back over your life and collected all your dreams, gathering them all in one place. You connected your dreaming age to your dreams.
Did you see any patterns? Any repeating dreams? Did you remember long lost ones? Did you see dreams that had already come true?
In this dreaming space, as the week went along, did you remember long lost dreams? Or, get inspired by someone else’s dream?
The next step is to shorten the list.
Now that you have your list, let’s narrow things down.
1. Eliminate anything you don’t really want anymore. (For example, I used to want to live in New York City, and then one day in my 30’s, I just didn’t want to anymore. I felt a little sad that this dream didn’t burn a fire in me anymore. But, it got crossed off.)
2. Maybe you’ve “aged out” of certain dreams. (We like to think the thought that “anything is possible”, but my dream of being an Olympic gymnast is stretching it a little as I’m in my 50’s. Darn it!)
3. Is it really your dream? Or is it someone else’s dream for you? (Maybe your parents wanted you to “get a good job” or they wanted to retire to Florida so you thought you should too.)
4. Is it a fantasy or a dream? (You’d like to be a movie star, but you don’t actually want to act, or sing, or watch movies … you just like that movie star wardrobe.)
5. Is it your ego? Or is it your dream? (Do you want to build an empire by being a tech god at a start-up to “show them”, but, you don’t like to code? Are you really good at something, like accounting, but you hate it?)
What's left after the elimination round?
Take a look at everything that’s still on your list. Maybe make a new list, noting anything interesting.
Here’s the question, which dreams give you that “zing”? That feeling where you feel excited, light-hearted, hopeful, lit up, expanded, curious, open?
Don’t get caught up on what it is right now. You’re using feelings as a guide. That “zing” is a message that you’re on the right track. You’re looking for those dreams that make your heart beat a little faster. Even if it makes no sense, keep it on your list.
What's Your Story?
What’s left? Maybe it’s twenty things. Maybe it’s one. Has anything become more obvious? Threads throughout your life? Patterns? Are you making any connections? Is there anything you gave up on? Is there anything you tried and failed? Is there anything you dismiss because it’s too outrageous?
What does your dream list tell you about you?
It’s unique to you.
Why?
Why do you want this dream? We have a coaching tool called The Five Why’s – you keep asking why until you get to the heart of something. Five is usually the maximum number of times you have to ask why. Each why’s a little harder to answer, but stick with it. Put little spins on your “why questions”, if that helps you get closer to the real reason why.
This is the time to trust your heart.
If there was any time to trust your heart, your feelings, your longings, it’s now.
Any editing or “yeah, but’s” can come later.
When you get to the center of it, rest in it, feel it, enjoy it.
Take a Turtle Step
Don’t quit your day job yet. Don’t put your house on the market this afternoon. Be on the watch for magical thinking.
Start. But, start small. Do one thing in the real world (not on your phone or computer) that brings you one step closer.
Take steps that work for you. if you’re not taking action, break down your steps into smaller ones.
Even if you just walk by that place you want to volunteer, but don’t go in, it can feel good. If your dream is to have a therapy mini horse that you bring to kids’ hospitals, you don’t have to interview someone who has done it just yet (unless you want to). You can go to a horse show and just be around horses to feel into it.
Investigate, test, interview, volunteer. Find people who have done what you want to do either in real life or on-line. Finding those people helps you know it’s possible.
A Moment of Truth
Along the way, have you had a blazing insight? You know, those moments of clarity where all the fuzziness slips away and you know something for sure? Are you having dreams at night that have a message? Really pay attention to these moments when the fog lifts. There’s gold in there!
Don't go it alone.
While the dreaming part is an inside job, when you start to take your dream into the world, your fears come up, your thinking can get in the way, you’ll get stuck. Can you connect with other dreamers? Can you and a friend set up a weekly coffee to check in?
Hold your dream with love. Revisit your moment(s) of truth. Be nice to yourself. Be nice to your dream.
You may have accomplished a lot in your life, but you haven’t done this. It’s new. You’re a beginner. You don’t know how. Yet. If you did, you would have done it long ago. There are ways to go from here to there that you simply don’t know. But, there is a way.
Don’t leave it all in your head. That’s what you’ve been doing all these years. Staying in your head, wondering can cause so much angst. Even taking little action steps can feel so good.
Next Steps
Next week, we’re going to talk about limiting beliefs, thoughts, feelings. If you’re having a hard time dreaming, if you don’t feel excited, it’s a sure sign that you have a limiting belief lurking beneath the surface.
“Things never go my way.” “I don’t have what it takes.” “I don’t have the money for any of this.” “Everyone is going to think I’m crazy.” “It’s too late.” “I don’t have enough time.” “I don’t know how.” “This sounds like way too much work.”
These are dream-killers.
You get to decide if you like your thoughts and beliefs. If you actually decide, “You know what, this dream stuff is not for me right now” and that feels right to you, then maybe this process has given you some peace of mind. No one is saying you have to do it. Your life can still be full and rewarding. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different. Give yourself the gift of deciding to embrace what you have.
But, maybe you also noticed that your dream isn’t to move to the Himalaya’s and meditate for a year. Maybe you want to help some kids with their anxiety. There are big and small ways to do that.
If you’re like me, “The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
You get to decide.
Next week, we look at the Coaching Framework so you can see why our thoughts are so key.
(Note: Once again, I borrowed this exercise, with some modifications, from Barbara Sher’s book “It’s Only Too Late if You Don’t Start Now.”
