The Messy Middle
Getting Unstuck in the Middle of Life
It's messy in the middle.
If you’re in the middle of life, you know it’s a little messy. It’s easy to take these things personally, but in every life stage has its trials, lessons, and losses. That said, the midlife ones seem extra tough.
It’s a strange transition because not so long ago, we were the cool kids who were checking the boxes, acquiring the things, rolling our eyes at the old folks who seemed so behind the times. Then seemingly overnight, we noticed that we were the ones increasingly relegated to the peripheries. It’s completely unexpected. We thought we were “in”, and suddenly we’re wondering if we’re “out”.
What you want shifts.
While life is busy sending us external signals, we’re also noticing internal signals as well. We worked hard to get where we are, but now that you have it, it doesn’t seem so great anymore. If not this, then what?
Midlife is a call to a new way.
At the same time, there’s a call to something new, a yearning for something more meaningful. But, with no midlife school, no midlife gap year we’re left on our own to figure it out. This is where so many of us get stuck. We’re not sure what we want, and we don’t know how to get clarity about it. It feels like time will resolve it, but time passes and we realize we’re still stuck in the same situation. This is the messy middle part.
The good news is that there are ways to get unstuck and move forward. You can get past what’s been holding you back. You can move through the messy middle and come out the other side ready for what’s next.
It's an inside job.
You may think you need to uproot your life to feel vital and happy again. There are a lot of messages about quitting your day job, or leap and the money will follow. If this appeals to you, great. But, believing you need to make a big move may be what’s keeping you stuck. This may not be fear; it may be your intuition.
What I encourage is to start small and start with some inside work. You may surprise yourself by finding out that your whole life doesn’t need an overhaul.
Everywhere you go, there you are. Wouldn’t it be disappointing to make some big changes only to find that you feel the same way after you’ve made some big moves?
That’s why I encourage you to start small and to make it an inside job first – to look at reframing the way you view things, to look at thoughts and beliefs and see if those are keeping you trapped in an old way of being. From that new place of feeling more free and more like yourself, you gain clarity and make decisions aligned with who you are and what you really want.
With a refreshed view, your steps seem clearer and easier to take. You create movement, aligned with your values and desires.
There's a reason for all this stuckness in midlife
Feeling stuck when you’re in the middle of life is a special kind of stuck. Getting clarity on what’s happening can really help. Read more about it in, “Holding onto the Ropes of Midlife” in the next section.