How are you? I’d love to know. There’s been so much going on in the world, so many disruptions. To me, it almost feels like we’re running a race with no finish line. I’m wondering how it feels to you.

For me, well, it’s been … weird. I had a big “What now?” moment back in May. And not in a good way.

I think I had reached my limit in so many ways – the pandemic, the strife, the way things that matter to me never seem to change (climate, animal cruelty, women’s rights, etc.)

The noise of the world got to be too much. Too many people, on social media, telling me what to care about and how to go about it. I think I simply powered down, not able to take in anything new.

Can you relate to this? Have you felt anything similar?

For two months, I fell into a neutral zone. I’d never felt neutral before. It still surprises me that I can feel new feelings after 60 years on the planet. I didn’t feel depressed, or peaceful, or sad. Mostly I felt neither here nor there.

Normally, something like this would throw me into a panic about money and income, but even that didn’t happen. From my neutral zone, I observed the strangeness, but could think of nothing to do or say about it.

I had no deep thoughts, no inspiration, no regrets, no false starts, no fear. I kept looking for my anxiety, but even the dial on that had been turned to neutral. For the first time in many, many years, I didn’t feel excited to start my day with a book from my self-help library. I continued with some appointments, cancelled others. Strange times, indeed.

I spent time helping with my elderly parents. Nature gave me solace, so I spent as much time outside as I could. I hung out with my horse friends. As well, I dove into Astrology and some other things I’d left behind in my life – like photography and crafting. I started to organize and get rid of the “stuff” that clutters my basement, my attic, and my life.

Often, I would think I need to get back to work. But, I couldn’t find the path back, or any path at all.

Finally, in mid-July, I started to feel unexpected pings of inspiration. I felt like me as I sat on my favorite rock overlooking the river I love. I found my flow, at sunrise, as I photographed the bridges of Madison County in Iowa. Pressing my nose into a horse’s neck, I inhaled the smell I love most of all. My husband and I had had a big fight during all this, but we found our way back and I once again felt deeply home in his arms.

Slowly, the neutrality faded, and I started to feel again. That’s an oversimplification. I definitely had some dark nights of the soul moments on my way back. But, I have emerged from my cocoon, finding myself recharged. It’s like I went deep, found what I’d been missing, and emerged the same, yet somehow different. More me.

With that, I have a refreshed website, and some new ways of doing business that are more aligned with my quiet, sensitive nature. I don’t mean to brush over all that, but I wanted to say that I’m back. Or, I’m still here, and I have some new things brewing that I’m hoping will be helpful to you if you find yourself in the neutral zone or a shift of your own.

What’s next for me is working and living in a way that’s more aligned with me, even though the world is not co-operating and being what I’d like it to be.

What about you? How have you been feeling lately? What’s next for you?a