Stay in your present life as long as you can.
It’s good enough. For now.
Good enough. For now.
Is there an area of your life where you feel like you should be doing something else or doing better than you are? Maybe it’s your career, or maybe it’s your home, or your relationship. You’re on the constant search for “the answer” or the way forward, or an out.
Here’s an idea to try. Hit the pause button and decide that it’s good enough. For now.
Stay as long as you can.
There are always reasons to move on. Many of them are very good reasons. If it’s time to go, it’s time to go.
But, as long as you’re not in danger of any kind, I highly recommend staying as long as you can. Before you make a big move on the outside, consider making some big moves on the inside – change yourself first. It may may make you groan when you imagine that. But, those big, bold moves? They’re not always the right answer, and can come at a cost.
For example, you may fantasize about leaving your corporate job and working from home as an entrepreneur. That lifestyle would provide so much flexibility and freedom. You imagine saying buh-bye to all the politics, the crazy projects, the late nights. True, but there are pitfalls. Are you good at sales? Do you like being alone a lot of the time? Maybe you’ve had a chance to try the ‘work from home’ scenario recently. Was it everything you expected it to be?
Could you integrate sales into your current job and get some training? Can you seek out some other like-minded people to share your journey with before you start?
Override your default brain.
Your brain is not wired to think of the pitfalls. It’s wired to see how great it will be, especially when you want to escape something that no longer fits. And, while starting over and beginning something new can be exciting, I can tell you that once you’re out in the wild and realize the grass isn’t always greener, it can be hard to go back.
If you can pause, stay as long as you can, and a mindfully explore options, you can make a regret-free move when the time is right. Deciding that what you have is good enough for now gives you the space to do that.
Moving, as a metaphor.
Our brains are wired so that we typically see two alternatives – stay or go, give up or leap, pass or fail. It will have you believe that big moves are the best moves. It’s kind of boring to dwell on all the alternatives.
Moving homes, as a metaphor, helps illustrate this:
Alternative #1:
How often have you thought about moving to a new home? This house/apartment/condo is too big, too small, too old, too new. We need to move. Wouldn’t a new house, in a new neighborhood, a new town, provide a fresh start? But, then what? When you spend a few moments thinking it through, you may eventually feel the effort in it, that it might be harder than you originally thought.
Moving is literally a big move. It has drama and freshness. A move will definitely keep you busy, busy, busy for quite awhile. It may, in fact, be the perfect thing. But, everywhere you go, there you are.
Alternative #2:
Not so glamorous is fixing up your existing home. What could a fresh coat of paint change? Could re-arranging the furniture create more flow? How about moving your wall art around, maybe to different rooms? Could you update your back yard instead of moving to the country? How about turning your tired old bathroom into a spa-like oasis. How does all that feel in your body? Boring at first, maybe. But, sit with it a bit and see what happens.
What about the area of your life you want to change?
Can you transfer this metaphor into the area of life you want to change? Instead of giving in to the desire to leap, could you find that place where your job, or your relationship is good enough for now? Can you sit with the discomfort and give yourself the space to explore possible options?
Change yourself, instead of uprooting your life.
The metaphor really points to the idea of looking at yourself first. Is there any part of you that you’re avoiding, or any ways you’re thinking that require an update? You may want to consider starting with the inside before you make the great effort of overhauling the outside of your life, only to realize it wasn’t the solution after all.
Underestimating and Overestimating:
Why do our brains trick us into thinking that a big move would be easier? I read somewhere (wish I could find it again) that we underestimate how hard it is to start something new and overestimate the effort it takes to make small changes. Start meditating … it’s too hard! Move to a new city … oooh, let me zillow some homes.
Reframing - small changes, big payoffs.
“Good enough for now” is a reframe. You don’t change the situation, but change how you think about the situation. In doing this, you create some space, a pause, so you don’t make change for change’s sake, but, when you’re ready, and you do it for reasons that are aligned with you and what you want.
You’re not giving up or settling. “For now” is the key. No one is saying you can never move on from what you have now, but we underestimate the power of a little sprucing up – whether it’s our actual homes, or our beliefs, the work we do, or our view on life.
Just for now.
Wherever you are in your life, your career, whatever job you’re doing, where ever you’re living, it’s good enough. For now. Not forever. Not for a long time. Just for now.
This is a simple idea that gives you a break from the insistent need for something else. It also gives you the space to explore your options.
Get quiet. Check in. A great way to start is by getting grounded and getting back into your body. Go here to find a guided mediation to do just that.
