Resisted Desire
Desire vs. Yearning
Your Heart's Desire
When you really, really want something, and you don’t have it, it can be on your mind all the time. keeping you up at night. It can stay with you every hour of every day, so that you’re constantly trying to figure out how to make it happen.
When it doesn’t happen, you make it mean any number of things – it’s for special others and not for you; you don’t have what it takes; you need to fix something about you – your worthiness, your confidence, your money story.
Sometimes, you wish that dream that you once felt at the core of your being would just leave you alone. It’s your heart’s desire. Why can’t you have it?
You may call it Desire, but is it really?
True desire is the delicious feeling of life flowing through you. if you check in with your body, is that how you feel when you think about your heart’s desire?
If not, you may have traded in your desire for yearning.
Bittersweet Yearning.
Yearning is being aware of the absence of what you really want. If you have wanted something for a long time and it hasn’t come into your life, you may have slipped into yearning. You may be, unwittingly, focusing on what you don’t want, feeling the bittersweet of that and mistaking it for Desire.
Resisted Desire
Over time, as soon as that experience or thing you want comes into your awareness, you may bypass the happy feeling you once had when you dreamed of having it, and skip right to yearning for it. You think you are working towards what you want, but you are constantly focusing on what you don’t want and vibrationally resisting what you most desire.
If that’s the case you need to remove the resistance. You do this by re-focusing on that which you desire. More specifically, you move into the feeling of already having what you desire. You imagine having it, feel that feeling in your body, and creating from the “having” energy.
Desire vs. Yearning
I find many answers in breaking things down into smaller pieces. In this case it’s noticing that there are two sides to the story of desire. There’s the feeling of already having what you want and there’s the feeling of its absence in your life. The former is creator energy, the latter is resisting energy. Creator energy is desire; Resisting energy is yearning.
Are you stuck in "the how"?
Desires come about because of your life experiences. You may notice that someone has something and realize you would love to have that too – a beautiful relationship, work that taps into the essence of who you are, a fit and healthy body. Or, it blooms inside of you from a young age. You may go through a process of getting to understand that desire better by, for example, researching it or being around others who have it. This is all good. To a point.
When, over time, your desire doesn’t appear, you try to figure out how to get it. You then turn to the experts to tell you how. You look for the Five Easy Steps or the Seven Secrets to Your Dream Job. You eventually consume the information of many experts, sometimes for years. And yet, you still don’t have it. (Insert Dr. Philism – How’s that working for ya?)
Here’s the brain-twister: Looking for the how does not help you find it. You can test this for yourself. How do you feel when you’re looking for the how?
"How" vs. "Having"
A sign that you’re in yearning and in “the how” is that you are confused, you want everyone to just stop all this mumbo-jumbo and cut to the how-to steps. You are exasperated, disappointed, in hopelessness.
Switch to that place of already having it. Switch into the “having” energy, and you’ll save a ton of time and energy. Because you’ll feel great, come up with different ideas, and do different things with completely different energy and expectation.
Create from the "having" energy.
Get in “having” energy by imagining a time in your future when you have it all. Once you’re in “having” energy, how do you feel. Relief? From that place, what could you do? What ideas pop into your head? How would someone with that energy go into the world? How would they interact with others. Do you notice a shift from, for example, desperate to content? From searching to a deep knowing? What do you want to create from the “having” energy? Who does it now seem obvious that you can talk to?
You can even turn to face your present-day self. What do you clearly see is in the way? What advice or encouragement could you give your present day self? What do you clearly see about present day you?
How do you create what you truly desire, using “having” energy?
Can you feel the shift?
Can you feel the shift from yearning to desire? From confusion to contentment? From looking outside yourself for “the how”, to looking inside yourself for “ideas” you can implement right now. They’ll be first steps, not all the steps. They’ll feel fun. And maybe a little scary. They’ll feel right.
