What if you're not interested in anything?
When talking about dreaming hurts.
It’s not unusual to avoid dreams. It feels like dreams are for others but not for you. Or, you try to dream and your dream is too small.
There are many reasons for it to hurt, including having your dreams criticized when you were young, being forced to be practical too soon, you have a dying dream, you’re exhausted or burned out. Or maybe you start and stop and start and stop and then give up. Dreaming wasn’t valued nor were your gifts.
If only that darn dream or yearning would go away. Right? Been there big time.
Your reasons are valid.
Your reasons for feeling blocked are valid. Maybe skipping over those reasons is what keeps you stuck. Maybe you’re trying to force it. Or thinking you *should* just get over it.
You weren't born uninterested.
You weren’t born uninterested, bored, or in despair. Something happened along the way that sapped your energy, blocked your curiosity, stopped your enthusiasm.
If something blocked it, it can become unblocked.
The Shallows.
It’s not so much fun looking at those things. We’d all rather skip right over that part and head right to the good stuff, the feel-good stuff. The problem is that it doesn’t work that way.
In my coaching, we call that a Square 1. It just means that there’s something to be looked at, to be felt, to be turned towards instead of away.
When you do it, it can be like lifting a weight off your shoulders that you didn’t even know you could lift off. It can be like suddenly finding all this space in your mind for new things to come in. You reach for your anxiety or sadness, your trusty companion, and it’s simply not there any more.
It both is and isn’t magical.
Breaking things down into smaller doable pieces.
Coaching isn’t therapy. There’s always the possibility that sitting down with a therapist is a great way to process depression, or trauma, or anxiety. If you feel that’s a good choice for you, I heartily encourage it. Therapy has helped me so much in my life.
Something I’ve learned from coaching is that breaking things down into smaller things can make them more doable. If the blahs are getting in your way, addressing a single moment can provide a lot of relief.
For example, recall a moment in the last week or so where you’ve thought about a dream, or you’ve felt discouraged by the idea of dreaming. Really slow that moment down and get curious about it. It can go by so fast, but I assure you there’s something at work there. Something very powerful.
That moment is a way into that feeling of despair in a manageable way, rather than trying to solve a big amorphous blob that casts a shadow on your life.
The Five Why's
Just noticing, bringing awareness, and then asking why sounds like it would be icky, but it’s actually interesting. Ask why five times (or so) to get to the heart of things.
I thought about starting my vision board. It sounded exciting but when I have time, I turn away from it. Why? I don’t know. If you did know … what would it be? It seems like a waste of time. Why? You can’t make a living from these crazy ideas. Why not? Others have. I’m not as talented as them. Why do you think that? How do you know if you don’t ever try?
Another great question to ask when you’re in inquiry is, “What am I making that mean?” And then “Is that true?” I ask myself that at least ten times a day. Every day. It’s very freeing.
The Blehs are real, but what if they're just showing you your next step?
Have compassion for yourself. Up until now, you didn’t know what, how, why. But there is a way.
If the idea of dreaming, makes you feel blah, the first step might be clearing away some of those clouds.
They really are just clouds, obscuring what’s inside you. The answer isn’t “out there’. It’s “in here”.
Trust that it’s all still inside you. That you are unique and have a unique intelligence designed for what you’re meant to be in this world, that you love things others don’t, that you have a natural way of being in the world.
Small doable steps. That’s the way forward.
