Give Yourself a High Five
Yay you! Look at all you’ve done!
FACT: You're Doing Great!
Let’s celebrate this very moment in your life. Right now. Even though you may have stresses, or are worried about this or that. Even though you’re tired. Even though things may not have gone exactly as planned … I want you to know that you’re doing great. Fact #1: You’re here. Fact #2: You’ve come a long way. Look around you … I’ll bet there’s lots of evidence to confirm that. Fact #3: Deep inside you are yearnings, dreams, plans.
It’s time to pause and notice all you’ve done, and maybe give yourself your own high five! 🙂
Your Future Self
Last week, you became your future self. Today’s problems, challenges had all been solved and you were exactly where you wanted to be. You entered “creator” space enjoying how it felt to have done it all!
Thanks to all the things Past You did, you are where you want to be in the world.
What Did Past You Do?
Past You is actually Present Day You. (I’m sure you figured that out). So, let’s start where we start everything – the present moment.
What's Working?
This is the part where you give yourself that high five. It’s easier to dwell in our problems than it is to acknowledge all the good things. We skim over them, take them for granted, minimize our role in our accomplishments (that’s a woman thing to do).
It’s important to take a moment to note all the good things about your current work situation. What are you grateful for? (the money? the stability? the opportunity? the people? the learning? the commute? the home you’ve been able to create because of it?)
Acknowledge your role in these achievements. I’ll bet you worked hard, sacrificed, bit your tongue more than once, but you did it. For years. Yay You!
What's Not Working
Here’s where you write down everything that’s not working. Unravelling what’s not working is going to be the key to stepping forward. There’s stuff here that’s holding you back. Some of it may be obvious; other parts may be more mysterious, and that’s what we’re going to get to.
Take a page and do a brain dump. Write down everything that’s not working, that’s stressing you out. Fill the page. Just go. Don’t make it pretty or organized. Whatever comes to your mind, write it down until your brain feels empty.
This is such a simple exercise, but it’s essential for a couple of reasons: 1) it instantly makes you feel better, and 2) with all that stuff swirling around in your brain, there’s no quiet space to solve anything. Unhelpful thoughts interrupt good thoughts before they can get off the ground.
Read over your page. For now, cross off things that are beyond your control, like industry trends, the economy, politics. What’s left? Can you see some thoughts that are exaggerated, victimy, silly? What are you worried about? What’s the most stressful thing? Are you over-worrying about small things? Is there a worry you’ve had for years? Minimizing big things? Can you see that all this stuff swirling around in your brain isn’t exactly helpful? But, when you get it out on a page, there’s actually something to work with.
Enjoy the Space in Your Brain
The next step is to just enjoy how it feels to have created some space in your brain. If you get muddled again, empty your brain again. Has new stuff come up or is it just the same stuff? Examine your thinking. Is it helpful?
Keep Your Day Job ... For Now
How’s it going in your current gig? Are you showing up in the present, even though you’re thinking about what’s next? Is any of this stuff that’s not working affecting your attitude, performance, or relationships?
You need stability from which to leap, no matter what. It’s hard to build your next thing if you’re standing on the shifting sands of your present, dealing with drama, feeling like crap.
If you’re thinking about your next step, here are three things to do:
- Clean up your current gig. Where have you been mailing it in? Where has your negative attitude seeped out? Have you become “that guy”?
- Are there ways that you could currently save time and energy? Can you eliminate things, delegate, strategically stop doing low stakes things. Use this time and energy to devote to your next step. Can you make a plan to always leave work at 5pm or 6pm? Or not work in the evenings?
- You future self is going to need your network for referrals, for help. Your present self still has power and connections, what gift can you give your future self? Who can you talk to, how can you strategically activate your network? Start setting things up now. Don’t wait until later.
In other words, strategically keep your day job. Don’t check out. Be the “best leaver” you can be. It will help future you.
A Magic Trick
We’re going to end this week with a magic trick. While you’re sleeping tonight, there is a miracle that solves your biggest problem. You wake up and magically the problem no longer exists. What does your day now look like? What does your life now look like? How do you feel? What are you now free to do? What was the biggest problem?
Maybe you’re wondering where we go from here. Next week we’re going to talk about the Coaching Framework. It’s the scaffolding, the place we take all this information and separate it out so it’s not so big, and unmanageable.
