Begin here. I've got you. (Part 1)
Back in my twenties, sitting alone in my dreary little walk-up apartment, watching my tiny JVC television atop its cardboard box table, I knew I wanted more. Obviously.
At that point, it seemed that money and a nicer place to live were the solutions to all my problems. So, I set out to get better jobs, better pay, better credentials, better apartments. Check, check, check and check, but the question never went away. What am I supposed to be doing? Is this all there is?
I did my best. I tried to find jobs that had meaning to me. I ended up in the corporate life where I would have been happy if it was just about the work, but there was always the pressure of weekly sales targets, politics, long hours, endless meetings on things that didn’t matter. I had a lot of strengths in the areas of marketing and strategy, but my introverted self preferred thinking time versus meeting time. And there was a lot more meeting than thinking going on, which caused a lot of stress.
At that time, I had the triple threat – I didn’t know what I wanted; I had a lot of fear about my own limitations and about the world around me; and I sucked at taking action on things that were close to my heart.
If all or any of that sounds familiar, I hear you. I got out of that funk and you can too.
If you truly want to start living the life you want and doing work that truly fulfills you, you have to begin somewhere. It’s simple, but it’s not necessarily easy, so I’ve broken it down into steps.
This is a process we use in coaching. It’s not a linear process and each journey is deeply personal, so you may find some things easier than others. Or you may get stuck in the most unexpected place. But, you won’t ever know if you don’t begin.
Here’s what you need: set aside ten minutes; a journal or your device of choice because writing stuff down is really important. I like writing in journal, plus I may be the only person in the world who likes Powerpoint – together, they help me organize my mind.
Steps 1 to 3
Get Clear
We started this in my last post. What do you really, really want in the area of next chapters/next steps/life purpose/work/career/ that you don’t have?
It doesn’t have to be big. Maybe you’re feeling an urgent pull to some event or some place. Maybe you’re envious of someone else’s life on Instagram. Maybe you have an idea for a side hustle and wonder if it could be your new chapter? Maybe you want to write a novel. Maybe you want to create art. Maybe you have some ideas about what you’ll do when you retire. Maybe you already know every detail, but it’s ok if it’s just a sketch at this point. Maybe it’s a bunch of things – that’s ok too. Download what’s in your brain.
Your Mind is a Dream-Killer!
Your mind is not a good place for your dreams to be. Your mind is a dream killer! It will think of every reason in the book for you not to begin. So, get the scraps and images and pieces of your dream out of there on paper or on a screen.
If you don’t know what you want, then make that what you want – to be someone who knows what they want. That can be a really inspiring first step. What does someone who knows look like, act, think, feel? Who inspires you?
Now that you’ve created some space in your heart and head, notice how that feels. Relief? Peace? Whew!
Congratulations! All those ideas are now finally out in the world and you’ve made some space in your mind so you can move forward.
Dream
Visualize yourself in ten years. Your dream has come true.
Your future self has what you want because you went out and got it. Imagine the deep satisfaction of knowing you had that knowing inside you and you brought it out into the world. You. You did it.
Picture the life you created. What are you doing each day? Who are you doing it with? Where are you doing it?
If you’re someone who doesn’t know what they want, imagine that you figured it out and you went for it. What if you did know? What would it look like?
Notice Your Feelings
Spend some time feeling this achievement in your body. Up until now, you may have been feeling like you were never going to get it. It’s important to really feel this new feeling. Make it a bit of a meditation so you get to know what it feels like in your body to achieve what you really want.
Write down where you feel it and then describe how it feels. Then name the feeling. Some examples:
A fluttering around my heart – Excitement
A weight off my shoulders – Relief
Butterflies in my belly – Anticipation
That's all you need to do right now. Dream your dream, even if it's a vague one. Feel the feelings of having achieved it.
Your feelings become your guides on your journey. They lead you to what you want. Because, at the end of the day, why we do anything is to feel a certain way. Feelings are important. Dream your dream. Feel how it feels.
Your homework is to visit this feeling as often as you can. Get to know it. Enjoy it.
You've Begun! Way to go!
Click here for Steps 4 through 6.)
