Ready for Your Next Chapter?
(Yes? But you never begin?)
(Join the Club)
Have you been thinking about taking that next step in your career, life, business but you never begin? Or have you started but stopped without knowing why? Or do you feel a yearning and you don’t know what you want, but it you know you want something more, something different?
For many years of my career (ok decades), I felt like I was on an emotional roller-coaster of “aaaah,I gotta get out of this place” to “I’ll just be happy with what I have”. I wore myself out.
While the places I worked weren’t perfect, they were pretty good, even great places to work. I also worked with many amazing people. Why couldn’t I just be happy? Like everyone else.
Is Everyone Else Happy?
I just read a report by the Harvard Business Review, by Shawn Achor, happiness guru, that 9 out of 10 people are willing to earn less money to do meaningful work. There’s a whole lot to understand about that. Hmmmm. It sounds like I wasn’t alone!
(By the way, you don’t have to be like everyone else. You can make more money, if you want.)
Start Here
Like most people, I didn’t know where to begin, so I didn’t. I just complained and felt crappy. The good news is that, as a Life Coach, now I do! And I can teach it to you too! I find that very exciting for me and for anyone who more meaning in their lives!
First, Why is it So Hard to Begin?
I’m re-reading a very powerful book called the War of Art, by Steven Pressfield. You may have heard be gush about it already, but it’s worthy of multiple mentions. I love this book. It cracks the code on why we have dreams suck inside us, and why we don’t act on those dreams.
When you read it, it’s a “ping” a minute – “Oh wow, that’s so true”, “That’s me!”, “I never thought of it that way.” You’ll want to start creating your own memes, or at least writing quotes on post-it notes and sticking them to your bathroom mirror. (I highly encourage this behavior!)
In the meantime, I’ll distill it down here: It’s hard to begin anything meaningful because of something the author calls Resistance. It favors any short-term gratification over doing meaningful things in your life. It doesn’t care about what you care about. It only cares about blocking you from moving forward. It’s comes up from inside you. It’s a real thing. If you believe that, you can overcome it.
Before I saw Resistance this way, I thought the problem was me. I thought my fear, uncertainty and my lack of action revealed that something was wrong with me. But, once I learned about some coaching processes and started thinking about Resistance as a real thing – an energy – I had something to work with.
It’s a relief.
“Look in your own heart. Unless I’m crazy right now a still small voice is piping up, telling you as it has ten thousand times, the calling that is yours and yours alone. You know it. No one has to tell you. And unless I’m crazy, you’re no closer to taking action on it than you were yesterday or will be tomorrow. You think Resistance isn’t real. Resistance will bury you.” ~ Steven Pressfield
“Late at night, have you experienced a vision of the person you might become, the work you could accomplish, the realized being you were meant to be? Are you a writer who doesn’t write, a painter who doesn’t paint, an entrepreneur who never starts a venture? Then you know what Resistance is.” ~ Steven Pressfield
Is There Something You Want That You Don't Have?
Did those quotes zing you like they zinged me? A lot of the time, we want something and then quickly try to forget that we even want it because the pain of not ever getting it is too much. The problem is that the longing never really goes away. So, why not start right now.
Name It To Claim It
Maybe you know what you want. Maybe you have a vague idea. Not knowing may, in fact, be good news because now you know exactly where to start – by figuring that out.
Get out a pen and paper and truly answer these questions for yourself:
- What do I really, really want?
- What would be an ideal day in my dream job, business, career?
- How do I feel when I get that perfect day?
- What is getting in the way?
Pencils down. That’s all you need to do to start the process. You’ve begun. This time, you’ve won and Resistance has lost. Yay you!
Is it time?
I read this somewhere, and it really hit home: life is moving forward with or without you. If you don’t decide, life will decide your next chapter for you.
I know I’ve let that happen, and then I wondered why I wasn’t happy. Der. For your next chapter, why don’t you decide. If you wrote down your answers above, you’ve already begun. You’re not done yet, and It’ll take a little more effort. Plus, you’ll have to get by that tricky dude Resistance when you sit down again, but I’m here to tell you it’s so worth it.
“Procrastination is the most common manifestation of Resistance because it’s easiest to rationalize. We don’t tell ourselves, “I’m never going to write my symphony.” Instead we say, “I am going to write my symphony. I’m just going to do it tomorrow.” ~ Steven Pressfield
Dang Steven Pressfield! Another zinger.
