Midlife is Not a Crisis
It’s a Life-Stage that Requires a little TLC.
Midlife Needs a Rebrand
No wonder we reject the idea of midlife. Who wants to admit they’re in the middle of life when it’s widely known as the time we go into crisis? According to Chip Conley, the author of Modern Elder and founder of the Modern Elder Academy, midlife needs a rebrand. It doesn’t need to be a time of crisis. It can be a time of discovery, growth, and renewal.
The only real problem with midlife that is that there aren’t any socially approved ways to navigate midlife. There aren’t gap years or university programs to help us figure out what’s happening in midlife. We’re all left to negotiate this time alone, which can lead us to thinking that we’re doing it wrong.
So, maybe it’s not a crisis, but something distinct may be going on. The more we can talk about it and learn about it, the more normalized it becomes. Insight can come from some unexpected places. One place I have found great insight and solace is in Astrology.
The Wisdom of Astrology.
Astrology is both a science and an art. It’s rooted in the stars and planets, which are real, physical things. But, it’s an interpretation of the energetic influences they have on us which can’t be seen, so it’s not considered a “real” science. Still, astrology has been around for thousands of years, showing us consistent patterns in individual and collective lives.
What does astrology have to do with midlife? One of the interesting things about Astrology is that it clearly outlines what to expect in midlife and when to expect the shifts.
Our lives are personal journey and no two are alike. That said, we each go through predictable stages. Knowing what these stages are and what we can expect from them can prepare us and help us navigate the stages when they are upon us. I provide a brush-stroke of them below to give you an idea of how astrology can help you through the middle of life. These are general stages and you can discover your own personal journey through these stages in your own astrology chart.
The Midlife Journey Begins (Ages 37-45)
For several years in my mid-thirties, I rode the subway and then the bus to work, arriving every morning in an industrial park north of Toronto. Every morning, I’d step off that bus and ask myself, “How did my life bring me to this place?” Incredulous, my nature-loving, city-dwelling, walk-everywhere self could not comprehend that I had intentionally decided to travel daily to an ugly industrial park.
Those are the kinds of questions, you start to ask in midlife. You probably have your own moments where you’ve been startled into thinking, “This isn’t me.”
Pluto – 37
Pluto, the planet of transformation – it destroys in order to rebuild – makes us aware of what’s not working in our lives. It tears things down in order to build the “right” thing up. I got divorced around then, which is an example of that transformative energy. Good times.
Uranus – 40 to 42
Not too much later, Uranus makes an appearance in our charts between the ages of 40 to 42. Uranus calls for freedom through individuation – tattoos and red Corvettes. It brings breakthroughs and asks us to question everything. Uncertainty and self-doubt combine with a desire to get what we really want – if only we knew what that was.
Neptune – 43 to 45
Neptune arrives on the scene at 43 and urges us to get in touch with both ourselves and something greater than just us. Surrender says Neptune. To what, we ask? Neptune shrugs and takes its time. We do not have time for its vague, foggy answer.
This eight-year period is an opportunity to wake up. We’re drawn to what really calls to us. However, this contradicts our desire for safety and belonging and can create a uncertainty. The good news is that when you know you are in the throes of these shifts, you can consciously navigate them, rather than be thrown around by them.
The Midlife Journey Continues ...
Now that you’ve navigated the early part of midlife, you’re getting a handle on transformation. But, there’s more to come:
The Chiron Return - 49-51
This is the time when we desire peace within ourselves. We may let go of old dreams as we admit that we ain’t that young any more. It isn’t uncommon to go in a new direction at this time or have a helper appear. Your body starts changing and you need to pay attention. It’s time to process old wounds and self-acceptance.
The Saturn Return - 58
The great teacher wants us to get “the lesson” of our lives – that which provides the biggest growth opportunities, but which is also hardest for us to face – we may have been avoiding “it” for years. Inner work allows us to see where we’ve been so we can fully turn to where we’re going with fresh eyes. Old ways don’t work, so discovering new ways becomes your work. Larger questions lead to a larger life. This sounds way more fun than it actually is. 🙂
Your first Saturn Return was age age 28, so you can look to what happened when you were 28 to get a feel for what your Second Saturn Return will feel like. It lasts two to three years.
The Uranus Square - 62-63
You’ve had many chances to live authentically in your life. If you haven’t taken them, Uranus shows up again to make you feel restless and adventurous. It wants big, sudden changes. It stirs up your desire to really be yourself. If there is something you want to be, do, or have, now is the time. You are setting yourself up for future years. It’s time.
These collective stages can be looked at in a personal way.
While we all go through these stages, we go through them in our own ways. Looking at your own astrology chart can provide deep information about your own personal journey. What are you supposed to understand? What area of your life is calling for attention? How do you stay on track towards your purpose and your own evolution?
Did you become yourself?
Astrology is a vast library of concepts, ideas and tools. It can help you understand your purpose, your strengths, your weaknesses. It can answer questions that have dogged you all your life and provide clarity about why certain things call to you. It can help you let go of things and turn towards the things you’ve never given yourself permission to turn towards.
Sometimes the outside world gives you a kick in the pants, and astrology can help you understand what’s happening. Other times, the desire for change that comes from within you. Through astrology, you can decipher your own desires and better understood yourself and your journey through life.
Astrology and Me.
Many years ago, I had my first astrology reading, which blew my mind. Since then, I’ve studied astrology and even considered becoming an Astrologer about ten years ago. I took the trainings, studied, but I lost my nerve. I’ve kept up with it, and then in the throes of the pandemic, I really found it again. It became my medicine – understanding myself, seeing the world differently, doing readings that have helped others.
I focus on vocational astrology – purpose, calling, work, career direction. Astrology can provide huge insights by helping you see yourself in a clear way. You may have had intuitions about what you should be doing, but they feel vague and you’re unsure about them. Astrology shines a light so you can see more clearly.
Go here to find out more about Natal Astrology readings. Or give me a shout at karen@karenharbin.com
A Note.
This summary is excerpted from the book Midlife is Not a Crisis by Virginia Bell. I highly recommend this book.
Next up: Future You – Guided Meditation. Embodying Future You creates attractor energy and is a great daily practice if you want to deliberately shift your focus to creating what you do want, versus dwelling on what you don’t have.
