{"id":4951,"date":"2020-05-11T17:21:24","date_gmt":"2020-05-11T21:21:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/karenharbin.com\/coaching\/?p=4951"},"modified":"2022-07-19T11:53:28","modified_gmt":"2022-07-19T15:53:28","slug":"the-great-pause","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/karenharbin.com\/coaching\/2020\/05\/11\/the-great-pause\/","title":{"rendered":"A Framework to Guide Us"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"4951\" class=\"elementor elementor-4951\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-7c4d4718 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"7c4d4718\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;,&quot;shape_divider_bottom&quot;:&quot;curve&quot;,&quot;shape_divider_bottom_negative&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-background-overlay\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-shape elementor-shape-bottom\" aria-hidden=\"true\" data-negative=\"true\">\n\t\t\t<svg xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" viewBox=\"0 0 1000 100\" preserveAspectRatio=\"none\">\n\t<path class=\"elementor-shape-fill\" d=\"M500,97C126.7,96.3,0.8,19.8,0,0v100l1000,0V1C1000,19.4,873.3,97.8,500,97z\"\/>\n<\/svg>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-396f57fb\" data-id=\"396f57fb\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-733438fb elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"733438fb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">A Framework to Guide Us<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-3916de6c elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"3916de6c\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-11247800\" data-id=\"11247800\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3711830 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"3711830\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">How have you been?<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-56352a4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"56352a4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Things are good on my end. By good, I mean: confusion, brain fog, quiet, appreciation, disbelief, belief, connecting, creativity, peace, staring at the ceiling in the middle of the night, walks, worry, deep rest, insomnia, extra coffee, gratitude, mask-making, spring flowers, deep sleep, meditation, happy hour, wind, distraction, social media holidays, astrology, loneliness, cozy mornings, relief, joy, anger, Netflix binging, fear, anxiety, hypochondria, Outlander, daytime pajamas, new routines, love, uncertainty, Beachbody, laughing at the smallest things, comfort foods, huge grocery bills, Zoom, crying \u201cfor no reason\u201d, candles, yoga, bird-watching, sadness, insights.\u00a0<\/p><p>All the things. Sometimes in a single day.\u00a0<\/p><p>How about you? I know some people are thriving and others are just getting by. Some are incredibly busy, some are in emergency mode, and others are restless and bored. Some people&#8217;s work just became essential and others have uncertainty. But, one thing is common &#8211; we&#8217;ve all been through an event that changed our daily routines and our outlook for the future.<\/p><p>As well, there is so much conflicting information, or no information, or too much information all at once. It&#8217;s easy to get lost in it all and wonder where we&#8217;re all going.<\/p><p>I am an optimist by nature, and I have an unwavering faith that human ingenuity will prevail. We&#8217;ll figure this out. We&#8217;ll get moving again. In the meantime, here we are.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-153508f elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"153508f\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-e305d30\" data-id=\"e305d30\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-023131e elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"023131e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">A collective Square One.<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-3c1341b elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"3c1341b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">The pandemic has not affected me directly yet for which I\u2019m grateful, and my heart goes out to you if it has affected you and your loved ones in any way. Sending you lots of love and comfort as you navigate troubled waters. If you&#8217;re a health care worker or on the front lines, I am just so grateful to you every day. You can&#8217;t see me, but I can see you.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">I\u2019m still working, coaching, creating, talking to people regularly on Zoom and on the phone.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">Yet, I\u2019m having a hard time writing. When I&#8217;m writing I really notice my brain fog. It&#8217;s hard to focus and finish. As well, I&#8217;m even more sensitive than usual.\u00a0 It&#8217;s slowly getting better!\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p>The good news is that there is a good explanation for feeling disoriented and out of sorts, and that explanation is found in The Change Cycle, which is a foundational framework In the coaching method I use. Change follows in a typical pattern, even in abnormal times such as these. We&#8217;re unwillingly thrown into a Change Cycle, and that Change Cycle begins with a Square One.\u00a0<\/p><p>Some coaches build their entire coaching practices on helping people through Square One&#8217;s. They&#8217;re that significant. And, for the first time, we&#8217;re all in this giant Square One where no one has answers. But, we do have ways to navigate it. That&#8217;s the good news.<\/p><p>It&#8217;s uncomfortable. Things are uncertain and unclear. It feels almost impossible to move forward. That&#8217;s the bad news. I do a more thorough explantation of Square One <strong><span style=\"color: #808000;\"><a style=\"color: #808000;\" href=\"https:\/\/karenharbin.com\/coaching\/2020\/05\/15\/square-one\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here<\/a><\/span>.<\/strong> It&#8217;s worth a read if you&#8217;re feeling out of sorts.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-26f0b201 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"26f0b201\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-7e0a5d03\" data-id=\"7e0a5d03\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-71d4720d elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"71d4720d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Trauma with a small t.<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-7871c79a elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"7871c79a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>Which leads me to the topic of trauma with a small t. Or, maybe it\u2019s a big t, depending on your situation. If we think of this &#8220;event&#8221; as a trauma, it might be a good first step to feeling better. Because, it gives us permission to feel what we feel without judging ourselves. it allows us to have concerns, and find ways to address these concerns. Things like:<\/p><p>~ Realizing that brain fog and trouble concentrating are typical and not something to push through or overcome.<\/p><p>~ Even though you&#8217;re &#8220;fine&#8221;, there&#8217;s a very good reason w<span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">hy you may be feeling physical symptoms like tightness in your chest, or a rapid heart rate, or trouble breathing. Stress shows up in our bodies.<\/span><\/p><p>~ It&#8217;s not unusual to lose your appetite or crave comfort foods. Or both.<\/p><p>~ Fears, worries, anxieties are normal.\u00a0<\/p><p>There are tried and tested tools that can ground you and help you feel better again:<\/p><p><span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">~ Deep breathing<\/span><\/p><p>~ Befriending your body (w<span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">alking, body scans, feeling your feet, eating well, moving, resting)<\/span><\/p><p>~ Using your imagination instead of letting it use you (catching yourself when you dwell on worst-case scenarios and proactively imagining better scenarios)<\/p><p>~ Being gentle and understanding with yourself and with others.. We&#8217;re all doing the best we can.<\/p><p>More details on tools that help can be found <span style=\"color: #808000;\"><a style=\"color: #808000;\" href=\"https:\/\/karenharbin.com\/coaching\/2020\/03\/12\/finding-calm-in-chaos\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">here<\/a><\/span>.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-345b1dd3 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"345b1dd3\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-7913eda\" data-id=\"7913eda\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-43f9e8bc elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"43f9e8bc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Sometimes a metaphor helps.<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2297641a elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"2297641a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>I\u2019ve kind of come to picture it like this &#8230;\u00a0<\/p><p>I\u2019m sitting around a campfire in the woods at night. The fire is warm and crackling, my belly is full, I\u2019m with my love. Everything is good. Yet, the light from the fire only reaches so far. And in the dark beyond, I hear a low growl, a snapped twig. I pull another log (or toilet paper roll) from the large pile and throw it onto the fire. For a moment, it flares and warms my skin and the circle of light it casts grows larger.\u00a0<\/p><p>I\u2019m safe. Yet, when I do a body scan, I notice something. It\u2019s a rock of fear sitting inside my belly. I don\u2019t always feel it, yet when I stop to notice, there it is. It never goes away. It exhausts me, even when I am not fully aware of it.<\/p><p>Trauma with a small t\u00a0 can live right below the surface making you irritable, tired, lethargic. You think you are feeling out of sorts for &#8220;no reason&#8221;. But, if you can accept the reason, you can proactively manage it.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1e2bc8b elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1e2bc8b\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-9287f17\" data-id=\"9287f17\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c83d3c8 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"c83d3c8\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">A guide to navigate your way.<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b2a2e9d elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"b2a2e9d\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>That&#8217;s why I&#8217;ve been working on a Guide for these times.\u00a0<span style=\"font-size: 18px;\">Even though we&#8217;re considering emerging in some way, you&#8217;re not alone if you feel the need for some support.<\/span><\/p><p>I\u2019m pulling together some resources to help you feel more grounded. It will include things like: guided meditations, some Chakra work, and frameworks to guide your thinking when you get off track. It\u2019s a work in progress and it\u2019s going kind of slow (understatement &#8211; see brain fog comment above).<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-16837ffc elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"16837ffc\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3430164a\" data-id=\"3430164a\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-77df04d2 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"77df04d2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">If there's something you need...<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-55f07fc elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"55f07fc\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>If there&#8217;s something you need, and I can help, please ask. I&#8217;m here. I&#8217;m not going anywhere. Literally. I&#8217;m. Not. Going. Anywhere. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-2d8bb85a elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"2d8bb85a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/karenharbin.com\/coaching\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Adobe-Spark-35.png?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail wp-image-3264\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/karenharbin.com\/coaching\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Adobe-Spark-35.png?w=200&amp;ssl=1 200w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/karenharbin.com\/coaching\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/Adobe-Spark-35.png?resize=150%2C150&amp;ssl=1 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-4287edb1 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"4287edb1\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-1588114e\" data-id=\"1588114e\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-17db8ba4 elementor-widget elementor-widget-spacer\" data-id=\"17db8ba4\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"spacer.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-spacer-inner\"><\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A Framework to Guide Us How have you been? Things are good on my end. 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