{"id":5570,"date":"2020-08-11T13:45:50","date_gmt":"2020-08-11T17:45:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/karenharbin.com\/coaching\/?page_id=5570"},"modified":"2025-03-06T10:50:02","modified_gmt":"2025-03-06T15:50:02","slug":"revisiting-your-values-at-midlife","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/karenharbin.com\/coaching\/revisiting-your-values-at-midlife\/","title":{"rendered":"Revisit your values."},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Revisit Your Values<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Create Your Own Guidance System<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Who needs values anyway?<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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If life is easy and going your way, knowing your values isn’t a priority. But, when you’re feeling stuck or trying to make a decision, getting clear on them can really help.\u00a0<\/p>

Spending even a short amount of time exploring your values can create clarity around what really matters to you – what you can live with and what you can’t. When you’re clear, you can use them to guide you to asking tough questions and living in a way that’s true to you. It’s not always easy, but it can infuse your life with meaning as your outside world is an expression of your inside world. And vice versa.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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What are values anyway?<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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In my most recent corporate gig, my team took the lead on rebranding a company. That meant a name-change and so much more. One of the hottest debates centered on company values for this evolving company – yay or nay?\u00a0<\/p>

Those not<\/span> in favor of company values argued that they just became an irrelevant sign on a boardroom wall with generic words like integrity, authenticity, hard-work. They allowed an executive team to check a box, but meant nothing. This group wanted us to stand for something and express it in everything we said and did.<\/p>

Those of us for<\/span> values (ok, me) agreed with all that, but also felt that people needed this to be articulated. They needed some agreed-upon guide posts, something more concrete to look to when creating products and making decisions.\u00a0<\/p>

We never truly came to an agreement, but ever since then I’ve been so interested values and the role they play both in business and in our personal lives.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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It doesn't have to be so complicated.<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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During this whole process I actually got confused about what values even were.\u00a0After much research and thought, I’ve boiled it down to something simple. For individuals, it’s noticing what’s in your life and realizing you value it. Or not. So, “I value the beautiful flower art in my living room.” becomes “I value beauty. I value nature.”\u00a0<\/p>

It can be that simple, but for some reason we like to complicate it. We don’t have to get into vague words like “family values”. I think it’s these larger concepts confuse us by not really meaning anything to us. They’re what the culture tells us to value. But, what do we value?<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Mid-life e-value-ating. See what I did there?<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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I believe that there is something to be said for revisiting our values at mid-life. Things have changed. You’ve changed. Where we once took on the values of the culture, we’re now looking at what we really value. We have some pavement under our feet. Through experience, and a process of curation, we know what we like and don’t like. Our homes reflect this and, in turn, reflect what we value most.<\/p>

Instead of being told what to value, we now want what resonates deeply with us. This might mean that the things we accumulated earlier in life no longer have that zing. We can let them go and make room for what we value now.\u00a0<\/p>

If you’re wondering why the things in your life, that once fit like a glove, no longer resonate with you, perhaps re-e-value-ating will provide some insight.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Clues are all around me.<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Here’s a simple way to access your values. They’re in your home and in your work. You can walk into any room in your home and see what you value. It’s all there. Or not. It just takes a little intention and a small amount of effort and may provide a big payoff.\u00a0<\/p>

Use curiosity instead of judgement. For example, if you are a champion of the environment but your car isn’t very fuel efficient, you might wonder about that. Do you value comfort over the environment? Or personal safety?\u00a0<\/p>

It’s worthwhile to dig a little deeper, because you already are thinking and acting based on your values.\u00a0<\/p>

This exercise brings them into your consciousness. Then, you get to decide if you like them or if you’d like to use your values to live more intentionally. For example, it’s not wrong to value comfort over the environment, but it’s good to realize you’re doing it. And, if you don’t like that you’re doing it, you can make a different choice that reflects who you are today.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Step 1<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Grab a journal and a pen and start in your living room. Look around the room. What does this room mean to you? What have you fillled it with? What is on the walls?\u00a0 Is it cozy or sleek? Is it full or sparse? What’s missing? What do you wish it had?<\/p>

For me, I see comfortable furniture, though it’s not set up optimally for conversation, and the chair needs to be reupholstered. I see the colors of nature on the walls and in the wall art. It’s quiet and peaceful. The light is just right. I love the fireplace, but I’d like to replace the wall art above it with a more meaningful photograph. I’d like to look at a place I love.<\/p>

My values from my living room:<\/p>